then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm too high and old for this...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
