my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
