Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I deserve this hangover.
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