all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
