I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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