Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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