You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
