Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
