I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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