the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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