i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Success! We fucked roommates!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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