so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
