Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
