dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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