I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
