the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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