I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
