I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
