Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
A+ Viking dick
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