I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
