Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
