I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
