I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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