Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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