Cold hands, warm shart.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
