Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
