What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
