i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
