i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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