We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
