Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize