Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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