My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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