Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
