Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
