This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
