but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
