I want to make a zoo with you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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