i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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