After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
