Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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