i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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