ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
