Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
