How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
