is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Less talking, more tequila
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
