I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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