Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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