So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
