No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
