last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
