Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
