Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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