Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I smell stomach acid.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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