Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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