the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
