just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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