She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize