"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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