I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize