3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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