i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
