Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize