Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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