i don't like sucking hair
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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