Already got asked if we're dating
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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