SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Text me some of your sweat
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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