I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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