they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize