I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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