i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
