what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
