this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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