i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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