My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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