don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
