You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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