Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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