Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize