Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Floor bacon is actually really good
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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