oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
