I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
